Things that need to be said:
My mind has been racing and my heart’s been trembling and all I can think to do is write it down. Responses and opinions are unnecessary here. Anonymous messages will be deleted on the spot and I will not reply to any non-anon messages pertaining to this either. This is simply for me, to make sure I get off my chest what I needed to, because after this I am not saying another word on the subject. You will be talking to a wall, or yourself.
I know I’ve been the cause of people’s pain, now and in the past. And to those people, I hope you know I never meant to hurt you. I cried for you and for myself for being that horrible person that made you hate everything. But if I could take it all back, I wouldn’t do a thing differently. People can’t control how they feel and I wouldn’t want to try and hide/stop my feelings. And I accept all the hate that comes my way. I know I deserve it more than anyone. I know I’m mean and cruel and hurt people’s feelings and all that “karma” that is coming my way, I know why it’s coming to me. I’m not oblivious to the bad things I have done.
People have wasted their time on me and been disappointed in me and I have no one to blame but myself. For hurting them, for leaving them, for not being honest with them in the first place. I should have expressed myself better, but I didn’t know how till it boiled to the surface and I was done.
I know you think you know everything about everything but you don’t. I know I certainly don’t know anything about anything. It’s true what they say about there being two sides to every story. I don’t know what’s being told to you, and you don’t know what’s being told to me. But I have faith in people and I’ll give people the benefit of the doubt.
I want all this to be done. I know I am hated, and I know exactly why. If I were you, I’d hate me too. But your life would be a lot better if you let it go. If you focused your hatred towards me on love for someone else.
If you read this I am sorry it’s literally the nonsensical gibberish that my mind comes up with on a daily basis that I have a hard time composing into actual words. You can stop reading now, I’m done.
